Friday, October 29, 2010

Words that actually came from my head

I just wanna erase all lines of my loaded DVR.
Cause when i look random shit up I gotsta scroll so far.
To just git to the end of my long play-list.
Plus im kinda sick of debating to watch or not The Mentalist.

I imagine and I dream of what it might look like.
Zero lines of digital clutter because they took a hike.  
I might be able to rid my life of all dismay.
If all the shows I'll probably never watch were just gone away. 

Hold up, full-deletion might not be killa or great.
It might just lead to a sealing of my lax-a-daze-ick-el fate. 
'Cause another issue, non-remote-like, we'd have left at hand. 
Even if my DVR is blank...I've got miles of shows to watch on on demand. 


My apologies about promising you a 5 minute poem. This took me six. If that offends you in any way, just go back to the top of the poem as if you are going to read it again and only read the first line. That will likely piss off the poem.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


Why do people say one thing and do another?
Why do you say..."Let's meet at 7:45AM on Thursday."...when you don't plan on showing up?
And, AND, WTH would you text me at 7:55 to say you might not make it?

Didn't you know that at 7:44? That you weren't a minute away? Do you have a magic time-stopping machine that was temporarily out of commission...that you thought you could repair by 7:44:59 and if fixed in time and then if used in conjunction with your teleportation machine, you could have still been here at 7:45. I mean, even that would assume that you could teleport within one second. I'd imagine it would take one second just to push the "beam me" button..let alone the amount of time it takes to deconstruct every fiber of your being into a code and then reassemble you elsewhere.
OH! You don't have a time-stopper or teleportation machine? Really? REALLY?!?

They why the F%#@ don't you give me more than negative ten minutes to possibly change my plans for the day? Or maybe, maybe just a heads up that you're running late.

Sure, I'd feel bad if I found out after the fact that you had a heart attack and died, but that is not likely the case. Most likely - you are a douche bag and you lack common courtesy.

But...your quoted price for the work was $1,000 less than the next guy and you allegedly do good work. SO...I'll bite the bullet.

Plus, your lack of respect gave me time and a topic for a post.

Also interesting... the first 14 digits of Pi - 3.141592653589

Yep, I did it. There are only 13 digits...showing that is. The rest are infinite.

Monday, October 18, 2010


If you have been clicking "refresh" on your browser for the last several days in anticipation of the return of the glob, I apologize. I have several things that I needed to address on the morning of my glob's alleged return based on unreliable people. So, although my first glob back was supposed to be joyous, I had to start my day angrily and mostly globless. My frustration comes from the fact that the average age of my employees is 19...and the average mentality of people that average 19 years old these days is actually 14. Enough on that for now.

Why do some people read the number "0" as "oh." There is in fact a letter that looks a little bit like a zero, but last I checked, numbers are not letters. So the number "0" should be pronounced "zero." Unless you are surprised to see it appear somewhere, then I guess you could say "oh" in a surprised manner at first. But you should not use "oh" to describe the number itself, should you? I think I have an explanation as to why people abuse the pronunciation of the number and say it the same as it's slightly more portly cousin-in-law letter "O." Why is the "O" fatter anyway? Whose idea and/or choice was that? 10 extra credit points for anyone that can come up with the same reason that I did for the reason people call zeros ohs.

It's slightly less equally perplexing as to why people pronounce the word "moot" as "mute." But this is quite obviously a pop cultural issue. See...Rick Springfield in his song "Jesse's Girl" uses the word "moot" in a very loose poetic-licensy sort of way as follows: "You know i feel so dirty when they start talking cute, I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot."
You see, this song was soooooo popular in the 80's that people actually started to confuse the word moot with mute and pronounce them the same...because that would have sounded more rhythmic in the song. Don't believe me? Ask 5 people to complete this sentence..."If you are trying to make a point but you don't think that it matters or that the point might not sink in with the listener, you say...I'd be making a _____ point." Half of the people will say "mute." Sorry Mr. word moot, 1/2 of the people out there don't know you. Freakin' Rick Springfield.

Please reply below if you have a thought on the oh versus zero thing.