Friday, July 31, 2009

The new look of my glob

Well, I got slapped on the hand by Google's Adsense for promoting my glob to family and friends and suggesting that people click on ads. It's just a matter of time before Google takes over the world. But for now, you will enjoy an ad-free site. Congratulations.

Some people may be a little miffed about my lack of posts lately. Especially since I just started the FB group to draw attention to this glob effort. My apologies. I'll get back to my post every other day or so soon.

I wonder if people check the glob on a regular basis and are disappointed when there is no new nonsense to read? Do they (you) click on a link or maybe a favorite on a toolbar called "The Tef" and when they (you) see a post from a few days ago still at the top, say..."Where the heck has The Tef been? I really needed a dose of randomness today."

Additionally, I hope that the ink on Splenda packets is not harmful to one's body. Because I have dropped no less than three of them directly into an equal number of cups of coffee this week. [from now on, random thoughts will be inserted with these sideways robot smile symbols] [sorry if the use of the word "equal" before confused the Splenda commentary] I'm sure some of my droppiness has to do with being tired, but I have also consumed coffee at a much higher rate this week so my Splenda-packet-dropping propensity has to be higher from that alone. Every since the "tied for the cutest kid in the world" arrived on Monday, daddy has gotten little sleep. But mommy has gotten littler, so I'm not sure how she gets by without so much coffee.

Going on a tangent, I get the word of the day sent to my e-mail. Do you know what "arcane" means? I bet few people do (lol, not really). I just learned it today. So I guess I am arcane about arcane.

And finally a short and non-rhyming poem from baby Sloane:

Is today Monday or Sunday?
Oh, Saturday, that's cool too.
Sunday is the only day that I have yet to experience.
I am guessing that I will poop and sleep all that day through.

Baby Sloane apologizes for saying that the poem would not rhyme but then adding a little bit of one anyway. Give her a break, she's 5 days old.

Monday, July 27, 2009

To the 11.1%... thanks

I'll start by saying Happy Anniversay Mom and Dad.

Next, I lost a Facebook (FB) friend yesterday. Not sure who left but my count went from 360 to 359. That is a shitty birthday present. Unless of course that person was a "fringe FB friend" anyway - just coined and officially abbreviated "fFf" going forward. I will use it several times below, so please prep yourself.

Maybe I should copy and paste the current 359 FB friends to see who else I lose down the road? Maybe it was someone that was jealous of all the FB birthday wishes I got yesterday plus the one from Deane on Friday. Regardless, I got 40 well-wishing notes yesterday. So 40/359=11.1%...yes Mason I counted yours despite the obnoxiousness.

I wonder how many belated shout outs I'll get? I predict 11. Only four of which will include the words "sorry" and two of those will be from fFf anyway. One other fFf will be lated, but they will not say sorry. 6 of 10 will have some sort of "hope you had a good day" theme. Those are just guesses. I just hope I don't continue the precipitous drop in friend count that started yesterday.

Anyway, why do we "hope you have a great day" on your birthday. Shouldn't we want people to have good days every day? From now on, I am going to pick eight FB friends (fFfs included) and just wish them a happy day randomly. Since I have almost one friend for each day of the year, there is a 2.2% chance that the note will be on your birthday anyway. But that will be unintentional. I want you have a good day regardless.

And what's all the fuss about birthdays? And since it only happens once a year, should we not say "Happy Birth Year?" Why not celebrate birth hours instead? Too much to remember? I guess it'd be tough to squeeze all those "Just calling to say..." phone calls into an hour. Plus, if we only celebrated birth hours, I might have gotten 15 or so birthhour wishes and like 25-33 belated ones. Or maybe it's the challenge of the double "h" phenomenon in the word birthhour. I dunno, but I think we should look at it a totally different way.

Seriously, open up your PDA / Phone / Outlook calendar / Post It Note / whatever and scroll down to:
August 20th, 2013 That's 8/20/13 or 20.8.13 for my European friends.
Do it! Insert the below subject:
"The Tef's 15,000th day, day party"

That day, if I counted the Leap Years accurately, will be my 15,000th day alive. Now that's a cool way to celebrate birth. Five digits, a comma and a small th.

As I have four years to plan it, this will likely be a big party. It will be at our new house in Richmond that will be purchased with coffee and donut money. There will be a tent and or tents. Maybe I'll do ten tents just for the alliteration. If you are reading this, you are invited. Bring anyone you'd like.

P.S. I apologize in advance to anyone whose birthday is August 20th. I just want that day in 2013. You can have the rest of the years. I will not be inclined to celebrate my 15,365th day.
P.P.S The party will not be BYOB but you can bring an appy if you'd like.

In conclusion....HAVE A GOOD DAY Y'ALL. Especially the eight of you that I am about to randomly "wall" on FB.

Friday, July 24, 2009

A glob from my iPhone

Ssssup party people. I'm chillin. Waitin for some takeout so no compy access for me. This is my first glob remotely executed. So when the food comes this will come to an abrupt end. I gotta head home to nurture my 4 days until delivery prego wife and my busted up collar bone kid. Yeah, Amelia broke her clavicle last night. She's a champ though. We got a mini sling on her and doctor DiCaprio says shell be almost 100% in 2 weeks. That's some crazy stuff. No cast. No setting. Just let it be and the marrow will find its way to new boneness. This will come out as one big paragraph because I don't feel like hitting return. In can't wait for these chicken wings much longer. I love em. Starlight in The Fan (should you capitalize "the fan") has awesome wings. The best ones in Richmond per The Tef if you ask me. Until I launch my chain of chicken wing joints called "Just Wingin' It." Then I'll own the market. Thissentencehasnospaces. Chicken wings are a 10 too. If they're done right. Starlight's are around an 8.6, weather permitting. Also big props to Joey McCauliffe for the name "The Tef." He was my inspiration. I think my order is


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hooray for Ford

I only read the topline of the news about the fact that Ford Motor Company turned a nice profit in Q2.

Go figure. GM and Chrysler both went bankrupt this year after taking billions of our tax dollars and Ford is making good money.

My take is that they have always been the best US car company and despite not liking a lot of what Ford does from a styling standpoint, they are the only American car that I'll ever buy. I have a Lincoln LS now (a Ford product) and I love it. Also, my Poppy (grandpa) worked for Ford for many years and I kinda feel like I should be loyal to them. Not to mention that they stuck to their guns and said "No bailout money for us mr. commie government" and kept their business going old fashioned style... with smart choices and hard work.

Check out my July 1st globbing if you want to get more of my perspective about BS bailouts and the like.

Anyway, here are a few of my favorite song quotes from 2 bands. Can you name them?
"Can't buy what I want because it's free..."; "What no man can own, no man can take..."; and "I don't question our existence, I just question our modern needs..."

They've always been favs of mine, but they just seem to to be very relevant these days.

Don't buy crap you don't need. That's why it's called crap.
Don't spend money you don't have. That's why it's called money.
Enjoy what you got that's free, like family, freedom and love.
Take a hike instead of watching TV.
And if you are down about your circumstances, change them.
Luck isn't about chance or quick profit, it's about being ready when opportunities arise.

Have a great day globbers.

Monday, July 20, 2009

30 and $22.67 = infinity or approximately ∞

Well happy anniversary everybody.

Here are a few words that look strange when spelled out.
Etcetera; Phonetic; Vacuum; Bologna

Today marks the 30th day since my first glob posting. So again, happy anniversary.
Despite being Condas, my fingers do not hurt today, so I may not keep this short and sweet but it definitely will not be super long. That's what she said.

Today I called Comcast and told them that I thought I was paying too much for cable and they gave me a $30 credit for the next 12 months for being a "valued customer."

So I called my bank and said that I thought that my mortgage payment was too high and they told me to go pound sand. Actually, I did not call my bank, But I do love the phrase "go pound sand" so I decided to work it into today's posting somehow. "Phrase" is also a funnily spelled word. Yes, "funnily" is a word. I love to use that word too, but not as much as the phrase "go pound sand."

Sometimes when I say funnily in a spoken sentence, people ask me..."Did you just say funnily?" And I say "Yes." Also, the people at Blogspot do not know that "etcetera" is a word because it keeps getting red squigglies below itself as I type. No, squigglies is not a word, but you understand my gist.

The Comcast part of the story was true. I think everyone should call every service provider that....well...provides a service, and try to negotiate their prices down. I saved $360 this year via a 10 minute conversation. That's Comcastic.

The new picture posted today on the right is a self-portrait that I assisted my iPhone in taking. As you can see from her photography work, the back of her is now painted in Jackson Pollock style. I assisted with that part as well. I did throw paint all over her but more importantly I then coated her with a clear lacquer. None of the above actions have impacted the functionality of said iPhone. Other than to make it look slightly more cool and individual than the average iPhone. Also, her name is Samantha. Cause she is magic. Like that lady from TV that wrinkled her nose to do magic. "Cause" is a word but I used it incorrectly.

The End. Click an ad before you leave. So far, $22.67 has been ad-earned for charity.

The real "End" is below.

The End.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Today is the day before Caturdaf

Happy day everyone.

Today's pre-planned topic is "True or False" but I am not sure I have anything interesting to add on that front.

I will tell you that ENR is doing well this week. Again, this is not a reco, but I think the stock will continue to perform well. See the 5 day chart to right.

Item #2 for discussion... An update to the gooey sour cream question from a couple of days ago: I have not been able to find out why it gets all juicy after its first use. Anyone? Bueller?

Okay, let's do true or false. Many people do not like Target, the store with the red self-titled logo, because of rumors that they are French-owned and that they do not support the military.

I think these are rumors started by middle-class American husbands because their wives are obsessed with shopping at that hell-hole. Had I thought of the idea, I would have started the rumors myself. But I would have added some other details about airborne diseases and rat droppings. That might keep my wife away.

Seriously, she can't spend less than $100 every time she walks in there. In fact, I'd say that the average bill in the last 10 trips is within $2-$4 of exactly $100. (60% of the time, it works every time). How is that possible? Those french marketing people must be very good at what they do.

Anyway, below is a link to a article that debunks most of the rumors. My guess is that the whole thing started over the Salvation Army not being allowed to ring bells there.

P.S. I bought a purple t-shirt at Target last week for $8. I really like it.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Why does sour cream in the container get all juicy after you use it once?

This is not a stock recommendation, but ENR aka Energizer, looks good right now. If people are home more watching movies instead of going out and doing other in-home activities, I'd think they'd use more batteries? We'll see soon. It's at $54.40 today and I think under the radar a bit. Earnings come out the same day baby Tefel #2 is due, so the 28th of Julio. I'll keep you "globbed" aka "posted" with its performance from here.

Send an e-mail to me if you love arugula as much as I do. To give you some perspective, after: family, friends, freedom, tacos, U2, Star Wars and my iPhone...comes arugula in my book. It's a 9 out of 10. FYI, the other 7 items mentioned were 10s. But U2 is in danger of becoming a 9.9 due to their recent sponsorship of Blackberry. That's annoying.

FFYI - to help further with the arugula scale, sunglasses that make you look cool are a 9, Taco Bell (versus tacos in general) is a 7, playing poker is an 8, long walks on the beach are also an 8...short ones are 9's, falling down is a 2, driving fast is a 7 and getting a speeding ticket is a zero.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My Voicemail to You

Yo. It's me. Just checking in. Sorry we've been playing phone tag this week, or has is been a year now since we've talked? I can't believe it's been 10 months since Lehman's collapse. Time sure flies when you are uber-stressed.

Plus I think we've all been really busy, worrying about the world and wondering about the future. Not to mention the fact that "So you think you can dance" starts just a couple short weeks after the "American Idol" Tuesdays through Thursdays are totally shot. And many people down in the Richmond area have to shop on Saturday because UKrops is closed on Sunday. So I really only have Friday and Monday to catch up with people and I guess we're just not on each other's top 5 list lately.

(FYI for the non-Richmonders, UKrops is a grocery store that is closed every single Sunday because the owners are overly-religious. If you ask me, it's stupid to own a business if you are out of business 14.29% of the time. Especially when it's probably more like 40% out of business since most people shop on the weekends. FFYI (For Further Your Information, like PPS) I refuse to shop there, I don't care how good their produce is.)

So after my Saturday shopping, I need to rest. They say that more sleep is good if you are stressed so I guess a four hour nap is in order..."Yaaaawn, I can't believe I slept that long."

In case you did not know, we are having a baby soon, very excited we are. Amelia seems to understand what is happening so hopefully she won't regress too much when the baby comes. And I can't believe she's three already! I know, I know. If this was a real conversation instead of a voicemail, you'd probably be all like, "I can't believe she is three either. I have not seen her since her 1 year birthday." Like I said time flies.

Anyway, I hope all is well. I mean of course "I hope all is well." What a stupidly cliche thing to say. Unless we were enemies of some sort, of course I'd hope all is well.

I would not be making a half-ass effort to get in touch with you if I didn't at least think about you a couple of times per quarter. It just takes me a while to get around to it. You know what I mean. So I'm mostly sure you are well, I just don't really know since we don't keep in touch like we easily could... shoot, I wish we both had unlimited long-distance calling plans to make it easier... oh wait, we probably do.

holla back. The Tef.


- Why put off what you can do right now! If you're still thinking about it and not doing it, then you are still procrastinating.
- Call someone today that you have not talked to in a while.
- Answer the phone next time you see a call come in that you have to think about answering for more than a second.
- Reach out to your family if just to say hello for a few minutes. 3 minutes and 30 seconds on the phone is better than a 4 minute voicemail.
- If you're good at calling folks, then do something else productive today. Clean some crap in your house, list a few things on eBay, invent something...whatever, you do, just do.

And lastly, my movie recommendation for the month. "In Bruges"... check it out. Very funny and some darkness. A few times that you'll want to look away if you don't like any blood, but you'll know when it's coming so you can prepare. Interesting plot, very good writing and a "pick your poison" ending.


In conclusion, have a great day.
I hope you are well.

Friday, July 3, 2009

A Re-post of My First Real Note

As many of you know, Steph's mom went to a better place a couple of months ago.

Although I only picked up the phone 1 in 5 times that she called (not bad considering she was calling for someone other than me nearly 100% of the time), I still miss the occasional conversation.

Below is a post that I put on Facebook back at the beginning of the year.
Many people asked if I was going to share it with her.

I did. A few weeks before she passed, Steph and I sat in her living room and I gave the computer to Baba so she could read it.

I knew I could not get through the whole thing smoothly on my own.

After she read it, Steph asked if I told her about the many comments that people posted in response to the note. So I read all of the comments. There were many prolonged pauses as I caught my breath throughout.

I think she appreciated your replies as much as she did the note. I'm glad she got a chance to hear how far-reaching her impact was and will be for years to come.

We miss her.

"My First Real Note"

“Hero” may not be a word that we use every day.
And when we do use it, many of us likely jump to images at the extremes.

Someone larger than life...Like Lebron or Shaq.
Muscles aplenty; strong enough to take on the impossible time after time; powers that mere humans can only imagine. e.g. Superman.
Tough under pressure while demonstrating acts of courage...US Airways Pilot Sullenberger.
The ability to impact others positively for many, many years after they are no longer with us...Jesus Christ.

My heroes are people that have inspired me and touched me directly. Ones that I have encountered over my life and have had a significant impact on me.

This note is about someone that continues to touch me every time that I am with her.

My daughter calls her "Baba." My wife calls her "Mom." I call her one of my heroes.

For over 8 years, my mom-in-law has battled ovarian cancer. Because of difficult detection, survival rates do not average much more than a couple of years from diagnosis. And I’d imagine that many who are diagnosed both outwardly and regularly focus on the worst in their situation.

Not Baba.

I have never heard her complain. Not once. Ever.
All conversations over the past 3,000 days have been about what positive possibilities are in play. She has traveled on a regular basis; taken up residence at the beach for a week at a time over the past few summers to be able to spend quality time with her daughters and grandchildren; adopted several pets, one of which was a clingy feline that arrived on my back porch just a few months ago; pushed herself to exhaustion to recuperate quickly from multiple surgeries; and in this, her most difficult year, she has made no less than 10 long trips to go out of her way to spend time with Steph and Amelia.

In one of those trips, she fell at the airport. Though in a “little pain” following the fall, she did not even think about a doctor’s visit until several days later. Turns out, her hip was broken. That’s how tough she is.

Her attitude is nothing short of inspiring. Her ability to fight back against some of the most difficult physical battles that I have ever seen, is amazing. Her mental strength is unsurpassed in my book.

She has impacted me in a way that I could never accurately express. Like the super heroes mentioned before...
She is strong, tough and courageous.
She has battled the impossible.
Her impact, her optimism, her influence, will be passed on for many generations to come.

She is larger than life.
She is my hero.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

What Next?

Today's pre-selected topic is "Other random stuff" and I'd like to talk about the USA.

I consider myself fairly patriotic. I love the word "freedom."
That word alone (or a form of the word) has made Braveheart one of my favoritest movies ever.
From the opening scene's impression-generating line "your heart is free William, have the courage to follow it" as Wallace's father is dying.
To its recurring use in Wallace's speech before the Stirling battle:
WW: "What will you do without FREEDOM? Will you fight?"
Sissy Guy: "No, we will run and we will live."
WW: "Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you'll live. At least a while. (awesome dramatic pause) And dying in your beds, many years from now. Would you be willing, to trade, all the days, from this day 'til that?...for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives....but they'll never take...OUR FREEDOM (insert cheers and emotional Scottish music).
And the very memorable single word statement made by Wallace at the very end of the movie as his guts are torn from his body. "FREEDOOOOOOOOOOM........"
I am honestly getting a little teary-eyed thinking about it.
I even have the Stirling speech downloaded as a file on my iPhone. I used to listen to it every day on my way to work at Chrysalis. Just to get me through my then freedom-less days.

That said, there are few places that have the type of liberties that we enjoy in the US. I have never feared civil punishment for walking down the street. I can write just about whatever I want on a website - that could potentially be viewed by the world - without fear of reprisal... e.g. Fuck you Obama. And I can start a company doing just about anything that I am good at if I have the drive, the ingenuity and the resources.

So...don't get me wrong. I love this country. As citizens, we can do more and achieve more here than we can anywhere else in the world. And we have.
But today, we are heading down the wrong path.

Free markets and capitalism are not about bailouts. But we continue to send money to companies that are not even viable entities. For what? Fear? Fear of what? That the stock market will take 24 months to rebound versus 15. I'll wait the extra three quarters if my tax dollars aren't spent on shitty companies staying afloat. Sure we need to change some rules around financial markets and leverage, but don't try to fix that which can't be fixed. GM was not profitable for decades. What was there that was even worth saving? Obama spent billions of your money to delay an event that any businessperson could have told you was inevitable. Thanks for that Mr. President.

Free health care for everyone sounds nice. But why the hell do I have to work to ultimately pay to bring someone else's kid into the world? If you can't pay your bills, stop having kids. Let alone 18 of them. Screw this socialistic form of government-mandated redistribution of wealth. If Gates and Buffett want to give millions away to help the world, good for them. They earned that right and they can spare it. But don't make me do it as I am fighting to rebuild a future for my family. And certainly don't pick and choose for me how it is to be spent.

I am all about government support of business growth and helping to stimulate the economy - i.e. Tax breaks for new businesses or benefits for companies that hire significant employees during under-employed periods. But creating government jobs simply to have a place to put people is ridiculous. Obama initially talked about job creation...through private business. Then he talked about "saving" jobs versus creating them. And now he's not even talking about job creation or saving them via supporting private business. He now speaks and references police stations in podunk towns that did not have to let 18 officers go because they got stimulus money. What?!?! That's the cure? Letting unnecessary government jobs stick around. We pay those salaries. You and me. And we have no say in the matter. Please reference my "e.g." comment four paragraphs above.

There are bills being passed these days that are thousands of pages long. Pork and other unnecessary dollars are being thrown around as if it were as plentiful as Hydrogen. Do you know what the abbreviation "tln" stands for? "Townline?"..."Telephone?"...Nope. It stands for "Trillion." And I have seen it used many times recently.
This is what one trillion dollars looks like: $1,000,000,000,000
If you are a millionaire, you have at least this much money: $1,000,000. Looks small in comparison, no?
A trillion is a million million. Putting it into other relative terms... You could count to a million in less than two weeks. To count to a trillion, you'd need over 30,000 YEARS. People were not even talking modern languages 30,000 years ago. Two weeks ago it was simply June 16th 2009.

And this year, Obama and his "my tax money" spending policies will enslave future generations for decades to come. But that's okay, GM will soon & once again be producing shitty union-made cars; more Octo-moms will crop up across the country; and dozens upon dozens of DMV workers will stay employed so I can get my new driver's license with a micro-chip embedded into my life can be more closely monitored by the government.

All I can ask is, what next?

Government is a good thing and it is necessary. And few places have a system anywhere near as good as the USA. But we are on the wrong track. I am proud to be an American. But I refuse to support socialism.

Socialism via Webster's Dictionary:
1: any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods.
2 a: a system of society or group living in which there is no private property b: a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state

National Socialism via Webster: Nazism

#$@% that.