Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Global Warming

My apologies again for a semi-backslide. I have not been on my glob in a few days. I guess I will throw a couple of hail mary's and do some sit ups.

Here's what I am thinking today. I am not an environmentalist. Not sure where I stand on the whole "the earth is going to warm up and melt into itself in a few years" theory. But I do think that a lot of what we do is wasteful - unnecessarily so.

For example, do you know that refrigerators in the US are significantly, significantly larger than ones in Europe? Like more than twice the size. What a waste of resources and power by us. How do they do it? How do Swiss and Polish people get by with 7-10 fewer cubic feet...that's like 1,000 cubic centimeters. I'm really not sure why the heck we still refuse to convert to the metric system. It's based on light waves. Come on people! What's makes more sense than that? Back when we were provided with measuring system choices, we chose the one based on king's stinky feet (hence a "foot") rather than light waves (I.e. The source of all of our warmth and the reason we have a planet). Yeah, stinky feet sounds like a better choice. Stupid.

And, and... the Europeans arguably have better food. It's just crazy that we feel the need to jam so much into our iceboxes. I'll bet 1/3 of all food purchased in the US is thrown away because it gets lost in the bottom of the 8th shelf in the fridge or behind the 3rd door next to the purified water tap. So here are a few things that I do to try and help save the world.

1) If I buy something at a store and I can carry it, I never take a bag. Paper or plastic? No matter. I don't need a freakin' bag. When I hand it back to the cashier, I kindly sy - "No thanks. Let's save the planet...one bag at a time." They usually are a little surprised. Especially when I just bought breast pads and I end up carrying them proudly out of Target on my shoulder like a 1985 boom box. Those things rock. If you have more items than you can carry out of the store, try juggling. This will not only save bags but it will also will improve your hand-eye coordination. Which may come in useful when carrying recycling bins.
2) Yeah, #2 is simply recycling. Plastic and other stuff does not need to sit in a landfill for a bajillion years. Just recycle. It's easy and it feels good.
3) Use your towels more than once. I figure if hotels think it is a good idea and they don't charge you for it, then it must be a good idea. How many times can you use a towel you might ask? I think up to 100 times. But my benchmark is that I use it until it starts to smell a little bit. If your towel smells after one use, you are not washing yourself properly. In this case, you should use more soap.
4) Go to your A/C thermostat right now and turn it up one degree. Do this every three or four days for regular small incremental temperature changes. And in two months you will not need A/C at all because your body will slowly adjust. Plus it will be October.
5) Run water through your coffee filter more than once. E.g. If you use five scoops of coffee in a filter to make one pot, make a second pot using the same grounds. If that is too watery, try adding one or two new scoops to the filter to give it a little boost. You'll use a lot less coffee and it will taste just fine.
6) Recycle your sneakers. Many sports sporting goods stores will take your busted running shoes back to chop them up and make other things. I am not sure what they make but if they use my sneakers, the byproduct will likely still smell. Hint - don't buy any new items in a store that smell like dirty sneakers.
7) Recycle. It's easy. And worth mentioning twice.
8) Guys...instead of running water while you shave and using a bunch of shaving cream, try this. Put one pump of liquid soap on the counter or a small dish or something else non-porous. Just wet your face enough that it's wet. Dip razor into soap splash. Shave. When necessary, rinse the razor quickly with a splash of water. Dip into soap...repeat. I find it's a much smoother shave than foamy cream and such. And it uses very little water.

That's about all I got for today. Tomorrow's post will be about history and the cycle that all leading civilizations have gone through over long periods of time. We are at a pivotal point in the history of our relatively young country... what are you doing to get it going again?


  1. Ok seriously...that was some of the funniest sh!t i have read in a long time!!!! Number one hits close to home.

  2. Hysterical Chris! Thanks for the laugh :)